Sakura and Itachi Sitting in a Tree
by runwitskizzers
Summary: “About nothing, Sasuke! Just let me do this. I have to. Now please, let’s just go so I can get make myself pretty for your older brother.” He rolled his eyes, but still followed when she started walking. SasuSaku! I swear!
1. Chapter 1

There were fifteen thousand, six hundred and thirty nine reasons why she should not currently be standing in her best friend's kitchen, staring unabashedly at said best friend's brother – who was shirtless

There were fifteen thousand, six hundred and thirty nine reasons why she should not currently be standing in her best friend's kitchen, staring unabashedly at said best friend's brother – who was shirtless. It really wasn't her fault… ending up in that situation, that is… she had just come down for a cup of water, and he'd happened to walk in from the pool _at the very same time_. It was, she had already decided, fate.

How would those romance novels describe the scene? Oh yes, they'd definitely mention his dark, tousled hair and would without fail _touch_ on the water that dripped down his oh-so-chiseled-

"Could I just –"

"OH, yes, um, let me just – hey." Shit shit shit _shit_, she was such an _idiot_. He'd absolutely see through her now, no way would he-

"Hey." And there it was: the smile. Her favorite part of her best friend's house. Well other than her best friend, of course. She had to stop her head from immediately forwarding to their marriage – which _would_ happen. It would. "Do you want anything to drink?" He paused from reaching into the cupboard she'd been in blocking. She nodded, afraid of squeaking if she actually tried to speak again, and he withdrew two glasses instead of one. "Soda okay?"

"Uh-huh." She hoped against hope that he didn't notice her hands clenching and unclenching behind her back. He didn't. Instead, he turned his back to her, busying himself with pouring out the drinks. She was just starting to get wrapped up in the movements of his shoulder bones and vertebrae under his skin when his voice shattered the silence.

"So, Sakura, how's life for my favorite of my brother's posse?"

"Life? Good. Fine. Wonder-" She paused and took a breath, "I mean, it's great." It was incredibly hard to have a conversation with shirtless boys who look like the Adonis personified. And as if he was reading her mind, he turned around and threw a disgustingly beautiful, and yet very irritating smirk in her direction. Like he _knew_ how uncomfortable she was, and how much she was dying – _dying_ – to get in his pants.

"Any boys I should know about?"

"No!" She knew she was blushing furiously and was, incidentally, furious at herself for doing so. She calmed her features and started again, "No boys, Itachi. Just, you know, friends."

"Ah yes, Sasuke and Naruto." He walked over to her with a glass and leaned against the counter entirely too close for her comfort. "The wonder twins." She grinned, momentarily distracted by his _deep sarcastic wit_. Of course, _then_ he threw an arm around her shoulder. "Well, good. I don't want you talking to other boys, they're bad news." She was having trouble concentrating considering his bare arm was _touching _her, and his fingers were lightly dancing on the surface of her skin. He retracted his arm and ruffled her hair, "You got that?" She couldn't do anything but nod.

She should go.

"Well, thanks for the soda-pop." He chuckled a bit at that, and then she realized that she'd sounded like she was five. Shit, again.

"Not a problem, kid. I'm sure I'll see you later." She nodded in acquiescence and decided now was the time to bolt. And bolt she did. Not ten seconds later she was walking back into her friend's room, hoping that her face had gone back to its normal color. God she was so stupid, honestly, 'soda-pop'?? Who said that anymore! No wonder he called her kid. He probably still thought of her as the idiot twelve year old that was soooo in love with his younger brother.

"Are you okay, Sakura… you look a little red." Of course she did. God hated her.

"I'm fine, Naruto." She waved him off as he attempted to feel her forehead. "What'd I miss?" She settled back down into her spot on Sasuke's bed.

"Sakura, you've seen this movie fifteen times. You know what you missed." Typical no-nonsense Sasuke.

"I was just _asking_, jeez. Quit being such an asshole." And then she launched a pillow at the back of his head. Which, despite his self-proclaimed amazing reflexes, managed to bean him right on target, and caused him to fall face first onto the floor.

"SAKURA! What the hell!" He glared at her from the floor, not at all being able to look as angry as he wanted to.

"Serves you right for being a jerk." Typically, he growled and threw the offending pillow right back at her. She threw herself out of the way, knocking over the poor blonde of their trio in the process.

"I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE!!"

"WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A PILLOW FIGHT!!"

"YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Sakura and Naruto stared at their friend in shock, which of course, slowly gave way to itching grins, and finally, both collapsed in laughing heaps. Sasuke just groaned and muttered some more, all the while staring at the bottom of his bed like he wished he could just crawl under it and disappear.

"Well, sorry, Sasuke, but we can't leave." She'd learned quickly that what Sasuke needed was not a love-addled Sakura, rather a goofy (but loyal) Sakura who really didn't (but kind of did) care that he was kind of super hot (… it ran in the family, unfortunately). "Without us you'd probably burrow yourself in that hole we know you keep in your closet – " Naruto interrupted her here, which she'd allow because his spinning of the tales always got Sasuke more riled up.

"And you'd probably start wearing guy-liner and emo pants and cry about how much you hate the world, but really –"

"You'd just be crying about missing us because we're _sooo_ awesome and you just can't stand being away from us for more than five minutes, which is why –"

"You'd go into the hole in the first place!" Sasuke's mouth had been thinning into a straighter and straighter line throughout this joint soliloquy until it was barely discernible. She was sure it was all he could do to keep from pummeling them to death, "HIGH FIVE, SAKURA!" And Naruto slammed his palm upward to meet hers in what was the most obnoxious physical representation of triumph they could have shoved in Sasuke's face at that moment.

"AGGHHH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, NARUTO!" The blond groaned just before he turned tail to run,

"Man, Sasuke, why don't you _ever_ go after Sakura?!" And then he was gone and Sasuke was hot on his heels.

"Way to be a traitor, Naruto! Just wait till next time!" She called after them. Now to settle back and relax and get back to – oh wait, what time was it? Eff this movie, she was going to watch cable. Grabbing the remote, she flipped channels before finding exactly what she wanted. Gossip Girl reruns? Check.

One of the downsides of being the only girl in her trio meant that no one could appreciate the intricacies of the GG universe and relationships. Instead she'd have to wait until she got home to call Hinata who would absolutely understand. And squeal. Did she mention the squealing? Because there was always squealing.

"_Wakey, wakey East-siders."_

"What are you watching?" Itachi's voice suddenly broke the Upper East Side spell that had been cast over her brain,

"Ah!" And then she fell off the bed. Shoot, remote, power, power, power, must hit the power button! She couldn't get caught watching Gossip Girl!

-FWWTTHH-

Whew. Disaster averted.

"Were you just watching Gossip Girl?" He was staring at her; those beautiful black eyes were trained on nothing but _her_. It was like a dream come true… if you took away the incredulity with which he was observing her. Like how could she _possibly_ like Gossip Girl. Jeez. Can't a girl get a break around here? She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she attempted to climb back on the bed,

"There was nothing else on. I was just waiting for Sasuke to stop beating Naruto's ass, I didn't want to keep playing the movie without them." Normal answer, okay good, this was good. "I figured that would lead to one of them pitching a fit." He cracked a grin,

"That's quite the phrase you used there, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to act older, Sak-u-ra." He was getting closer, oh God, he was getting closer!! She had to will her heart to stop beating so loud. If he could hear it, she'd be absolutely mortified.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, BASTARD!!" A yellow flash flew into the room, and barreled right into Itachi who barreled… Right. Onto. Her. All of a sudden she felt the hard planes of his chest and stomach against her and his arms on either side of her head. He was moving to get up in less than a second, but it had been all she needed. This was, officially, the best day of her life. And it was all thanks to Naruto. Please don't get up, please don't get up, please understand telepathy! She thought at him, she thought at him _hard_. But no, no good. Itachi had already straightened his arms and was pushing off the bed when Sasuke ran in, still on the warpath.

"You idiot, I'm going to kill – " That's when he noticed his older brother, lying _on top_ of one of his best friends _on his bed_, "What the fuck?" Naruto was still lying on the ground from where he had knocked into Itachi rubbing the back of his head. "What are you guys doing?" This was said calmly, but Sakura knew better. For some reason, Sasuke was displeased. Oh, hell. This was going to be irritating to deal with.

"It's nothing, Sasu-chan –"

"Don't call me that!" Itachi patted his little brother on the head condescendingly,

"Your friend just pushed me over onto poor Sakura, that's all." Of course, that was all. She sighed inwardly. Some day, he'd have to realize that she was super hot and they needed to get married. No seriously. As if to validate his story, Sasuke turned a hard eye on her. And that's when she knew he knew. There was no way she'd kept the blush off her cheeks. No way in hell. He held her gaze for a second and then looked away,

"Che, whatever. Don't you have better things to do than hang out with your _little brother's_ friends?" He glared at Itachi who in turn shook his head.

"Not really, my break started earlier than all my friends. Besides, there's no one else I'd rather be around than you and Sakura." He fell back on the bed, throwing the same arm around her that he'd used earlier.

"Hey!" Naruto had finally decided to pipe up, "I resent that!" Itachi spared him a wry grin,

"Ah, and you Naruto, and you."

"Thank you." Naruto nodded, and sat down next to him. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the weight of Itachi's arm and the added weight of Sasuke's glare. He was going to kill her as soon as they were alone. He probably wouldn't tell Naruto, or Itachi, which was good of him, but still… he was going to kill her.

"Please stop molesting my friends." Sasuke all but breathed that last statement, the fight going out of him as he realized how much of a hassle it would be stay angry, "Anyway, mom said she needs to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

"Your guest tonight." She couldn't help but notice the meaningful look Sasuke had shot the love of her life. … Speaking of which, Itachi had touched her three times today, _three_, in the span of like 2 hours. That _had_ to mean something! She watched him remove his arm from her person and walk towards the door. Just came to say, goodbye love, goodbye. Sigh. She was going to home and watch Rent and cry like a little baby.

As soon as Sasuke had shut the door behind Itachi, he turned to Naruto.

"Idiot, you have to go home." Naruto glared,

"What? Why?!"

"Because you're annoying and you stink like ramen." Naruto then proceeded to protest as loudly as he could. "Smell yourself." So then Naruto smelled his shirt and winced,

"Okay, I guess I kind of do smell like ramen… Can't I just take a shower _here_, bastard? Home's _sooo_ far!" Despite the on coming conversation she knew Sasuke wanted to have, Sakura couldn't help but laugh as Sasuke responded.

"Naruto, you live like two doors down. Quit being so lazy." Naruto threw his hands up in resignation,

"Fine, _fine_, everyone be mean to me. It's okay; I know its just jealousy." He paused when he got to the door, "Don't think I don't know what this is about, any way. You guys just want me to leave so that you can make out." And then he was gone.

"NARUTO!" He had a bad habit of dropping jokes like that at the worst times. Like the time she'd been about to confess to Kiba that she'd liked him and Naruto had come around the corner yelling about Sasuke and her being stuck in a closet together. Like they'd been playing 7 minutes in heaven or something. Honestly, Naruto had _literally_ gotten them locked in a closet and all they'd done was fall asleep, while Naruto forgot about them and had dinner with Hinata. He _was_ an idiot, but then again, he was the reason Itachi had fallen on her today. She let out a sigh of happiness and started dreaming about their life together.

"That look's way creepier than I know you're thinking about my brother, Sakura." She broke out of her reverie with a jolt,

"Eep." She looked at him sheepishly, "Pleeeease don't tell anyone, Sasuke! Please!" He looked at her strangely,

"Why? Don't you want him to know?" Deciding to avoid the peculiar look he was giving her, she turned away from him to answer him with another question,

"Do you mind? I mean, I'll understand if you do. It's weird, because his your older brother and we're friends and I used to –"

"I don't care." He cut her off. Typical. Of course he didn't care. Why had she ever thought otherwise. She turned back to face him, only to find that he wasn't even looking at her. Instead, he seemed to be examining his own bookshelf.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get the idea of you and my brother out of my head." She groaned mentally, and then picked up the pillow and for the second time that day, hit Sasuke in the back of the head. "Ow! Sakura, what the hell?!"

"Don't be disgusting, or I'll hit you again." She plopped onto his bed and threw an arm over her eyes, "So what do I do?"

"What do you mean what should you do? You should do nothing, obviously." Boys were so DUMB! And so she said as much, "I'm not dumb; I just think it's pointless." She sat up again to glare at him,

"Why?! Because he's older? So it's five years, it's not like I'm thirteen! I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm already 18, he's _only_ 23 –"

"It's not _that_." He cut her off, a-freakin-gain.

"Then what? Am I not smart enough? I know your brother's super smart and all and already in his second year of _law _school, but whatever. I've already been accepted to _three_ six year med programs for next year! I totally smart enough –"

"Sakura, I know you're smart that's not what I'm trying to –"

"Oh, so he's too good looking for me?! Is it because of my forehead, because I'll have you know Uchiha Sasuke that I have not had a single remark about my forehead in over three years! Not counting Ino, but still, NOT IN THREE YEARS! I am freaking hot, and just because you don't notice it doesn't mean your brother doesn't either –"

"I never said anything about your looks! Or your freaking forehead!" They were glaring at each other now, she from his bed, him from his book case,

"Then what is it about me, Sasuke, why do I not _deserve_ to be with your brother? Hmm?" She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, this was ridiculous. He sighed,

"Sakura, it's not that you don't deserve him, it's just, he's not –"

"Whatever, Sasuke. I don't even care what you think anymore. I like your brother and that's that, and if you don't like it, well, that's too bad. Because, you know what, just because of _this_ conversation, I'm gonna tell him. I'm going to walk up to him and say, Itachi, I love you, take me now!" At this, Sasuke started choking on his own saliva. She moved him to the bed and patted him roughly (hit really… he completely deserved it) on the back to help him breathe again. When his eyes finally stopped watering he turned to her, a new sort of determination apparent in his eyes.

"Okay, you want to tell my brother you love him. First you have to get him to take you seriously."

"I can definitely agree to that!" She grinned, happy with her resolve. This was it. She would make Itachi notice her if it was the last thing she did!

"Well, if you're serious about this," He paused and looked at her, as if trying to discern her true feeling by staring into her skin, "I'll help you." She threw her arms around Sasuke and yelped,

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!! You're the best friend ever!!"

"Sakura, what are you doing, get off me, I can't breathe –"

"Hey Sasu –" Then Itachi came back, "Ahhh, Sakura, from one brother to the other – I never knew you were like _that_." He shot her that same devious smirk she loved so much, although in this case, it was exactly what she did not want to see. She and Sasuke hastily separated,

"Ah, no, no, Itachi I was just –"

"Thanking me for helping her with her stupid biology club experiment." Itachi shook his head at Sasuke's, admittedly feeble, explanation.

"Whatever you say, Sasu-chan." She could see the vein popping out of Sasuke's forehead now… "Mom sent me to get you; she said she had something to say about your _lack_ of guest for tonight."

"Egh, fine." He stalled by the door for a moment, "You can stay here and keep Sakura company if you want, you don't have to leave my room." She was stunned, he'd actually made an attempt to help her. Granted, it ridiculously obvious what he was doing, but she was touched all the same. Itachi's voice cut through her moment of sentimentality,

"You hear that, Sakura?" He picked the remote up from the floor and flipped on the TV before settling back on the other side of the bed, "Sasuke would like me to keep you company. Why, I wonder?" She looked at him, stretched out, and wondered. Maybe now was the time for her to tell him, maybe he'd get it, maybe she could, "Oh, look – The Naked Chef is on. I wonder what he'll cook up this week." … Or not.

……….

"Sasuke, you know that tonight's a very important night. Your father's going to be upset if you don't have a date with you for the dinner. This will be the first time that we get to meet –"

"Mom, I _know_." He wished he could glare at her, but unfortunately, Sasuke's mother was probably the sweetest woman on the planet. If a little annoying sometimes. "Don't worry, I'll figure something out."

………..

He was still watching the Naked Chef. _Still_. And hadn't said anything to her after that first statement. What was she doing? Sasuke had literally given her an opportunity with which to dazzle Itachi with her fabulous traits, and what had she done?

Nothing.

Because when it came down to it, Haruno Sakura was a big, fat scaredy cat. She sighed and continued standing waiting for a commercial so that she could say something intelligent and then he'd take her hand and look longingly into her eyes and,

"You know you can sit on the bed, Sakura." He said it without looking at her, "You're standing is making me anxious."

"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Itachi –" Oh man, she was so lame! "I'll – I'll come sit down." She walked to the bed hesitantly, stepping over the mess that Naruto and Sasuke had made in the midst of one of their fights. She sat down gingerly, and stayed, back ramrod straight, not-watching the television in front of her.

She just needed to do it! Like ripping a bandaid off, the faster the better,

"Itachi, I –"

"Ah crème anglais! I've always wanted to learn how to make it this dish, hold on a moment, I'm going to take notes." He jumped off the bed and made it to Sasuke's desk faster than she'd ever seen someone move, "Do you know if Sasuke has a spare notebook anywhere?"

"Ummm… in the top drawer I think, or the bottom one, I can't remember which." He was scrambling for a notebook, to write down the directions for crème anglais. Maybe this _was_ the wrong moment to confess her feelings to him. Having found what he was looking for, Itachi jumped over her to his side of the bed and settled, choosing to sit Indian style and eyes glued to the television. Why hadn't Sasuke ever mentioned his brother was a Food Network freak? It was so bizarre.

Speak of the devil…

Sasuke had returned, slamming the door open angrily and causing her to nearly jump out of her skin (Itachi, of course, didn't even flinch).

"Why do I have to bring someone to this stupid dinner tonight?! The parents are insane."

"Because they think it's important, Sasuke. And you know that this is because – "

"No, no, ugh. Whatever it's about it, I don't care. This is lame. … Hey is that my notebook?!" His eyes had taken on a wild glint. Unfortunately, Itachi has already gone back to the crème anglaise on the television and so wasn't listening any longer. "Itachi! Is that my freaking notebook!"

"Hm? Hold on, Sasu-chan – I need to finish this recipe, then I'll – ooooh, so _that's_ how you do it!" Sasuke's face had gone purple. Despite this visual indication of just how angry he was, he very calmly walked over the TV and pulled out _all_ the cables.

"… Oh no…" Now would probably be a very good time for Sakura to leave.

"Sasuke, that was a very poor decision on your part, considering what I seem to have in my hands." Sakura couldn't help but be distracted by Itachi's grace as he got up from the bed & passed by a now significantly paler Sasuke. "You never think before you act, Sasu-chan. Poor form, poor form." What the _hell_ was in that notebook?! Sasuke didn't move again until Itachi had left, taking the notebook with him. … And he hadn't even -

"Oh, and I'll see you later, Sakura." The door slammed shut again. He totally loved her! L-O-V-E-D! Meanwhile, Sasuke had already made it back to his desk and was frantically going through the drawers.

"Where is it… where is it… A HA!" He slammed the drawer shut without actually retrieving anything, and leaned against it, heaving heavily.

"What is wrong with you?"

"NOTHING!"

"Um…."

"Nothing."

"…Okay…" He shook his head at her.

"How do you like him, Sakura? Sometimes I seriously question your mental capabilities." Finally stopping with the incessant (and condescending) head shaking, he continued. "But, I said I'll help you, and I won't go back on that." For a second there, she swore she could hear a sinister note in Sasuke's voice.

But, no. That was just silly.

"Thanks, Sasuke. I can't help it, he's just so smart and pretty and – "

"Sakura!" She grinned sheepishly.

"… My bad." Taking a seat cross legged on the bed, she decided now would be a good time to plan. "So, what are we going to do?" By which she meant Sasuke would plan. He plopped down in front of his desk and cradled his chin in his hands.

"Hmm, that's a good question… where to start…" He suddenly turned to her, a frighteningly contemplative look on his face, "Say, Sakura?"

"… Yes, Sasuke? " She could help but be wary of whatever he was about to say, something told her that the rest of the days events were going to be very, very traumatic.

"Did you bring your swim suit?"

"What?"

A/N: Squee. I know, I know, I should have put up a new chapter of ASTW considering it's been a month I think. Aye dios, mio. I feel like I spend all my author notes apologizing for being a sucky updater. I should just put a standard apology in my profile … aaaaaanyhow. So yes. I suck.

But this, this is my baby. I started it last MAY (as in 2007) when I was looking for a place to live in NY… and then I ignored it for a year, and then I tried starting it again like two weeks ago. So it's going to be a two-shot, and yes, it's SasuSaku not ItaSaku, trust me. But I do so love Itachi in this story, he makes my heart all-a-flutter .

Aaaanyhow, hopefully you enjoyed this. And hopefully your reviews will inspire me to finish the next chapter of And so They Were. Most of the second half of this one has already been written, it was just too long for a oneshot… oook, I'm rambling.

Review! (Because I love you)


	2. Chapter 2

"Sasuke, this is _ridiculous_!" She hissed at him, quietly. It wouldn't do for Itachi to hear their argument considering they were just around the corner from his room.

"Try again, and do something more flamboyant so that he actually has a reason to look up, idiot."

"I hate you. I look so stupid – what reason do I have to be walking past Itachi's room in my _bathing suit_?" He scratched his chin thoughtfully, as if seriously considering her question.

"You're right… it would be better if you owned a two-piece."

She leaned her head against the wall and counted to thirty in hopes to calm herself down. She could not kill the brother of the man she was going to marry. Then, with a one fingered goodbye, she turned the corner and started sauntering. Maybe _this_ time, he would actually look up from his desk and see her, in all her scantily clad glory, and come running. Okay, it was all still going according to plan. She swung her hips and crossed her feet, one in front of the other and hummed something nonchalantly. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw the movement of his head as it came up to look in her direction – perfect! … Until the foot that was supposed to cross _in front_ of the other, didn't move fast enough and the one that was supposed to be behind moved too fast and then she was on the floor.

"Sakura! Are you okay??" And of course he'd seen all that. Not the previous seven times when she'd made it past his room perfectly. She heard Sasuke slap a palm to his forehead. But, none of that mattered because Itachi was putting her arm around his shoulder and helping her to his room and now she was sitting on his bed. His hair, uncharacteristically loose, fell over his shoulder and tickled her leg as he looked at her ankle, rotating it to test the pain. Of course, she knew it would be okay, it'd probably throb for a little while, but that would be the extent of it – but she'd let him figure that out on his own. For now, she would enjoy the feel of his hands on her. … Thank God she hadn't said that out loud.

However, as much as she was enjoying the sight of his dark eyes narrowed in thought – thoughts of _her_ – unfortunately, it seemed to be strictly medical. Those same dark eyes hadn't actually strayed anywhere else! She kept waiting for them to flicker upwards, taking in her long legs, her bathing suit covered tummy, her perfectly _average_ sized bus-

"Ah, Sakura, you're shaking. I didn't even realize you were in a swimsuit. Here, let me grab you a sweatshirt." He placed her foot back on the floor and disappeared into his closet. _Sigh_. Of course he didn't notice… maybe she should get implants. Rolling her eyes at her self, she couldn't help but think that she was _really _glad she hadn't said _that_ out loud. While Itachi was gone, she took a few minutes to take in his room. There was an immediate difference to Sasuke's in its darkness – the walls were deep purple, and the accents maroon. There were two framed pictures on his nightstand which caught her attention. One was the same as the picture hanging in Sasuke's room. The entire Uchiha family all decked out in formal attire. The strict father, Fugaku – whom Sakura secretly felt was one of the most frightening people she had ever met; the doting mother, Mikoto … whom she loved almost as much as her own mother, and of course, the smirking Itachi and the ever irritable Sasuke. Her eyes lingered on her friend's face for a moment, surprised at how much he hadn't actually changed. …

The other picture was more interesting. It was Itachi with his arm around some … who _was _that girl?! Blond, blue eyed, half her face hidden behind a fan, her bangs falling softly onto her face – she was bloody _gorgeous_! Well, maybe the bottom half of her face was covered in hideous scars or something… but probably not. Her musings were interrupted when a ball of sweatshirt fell into her lap,

"There you go, Sakura. Don't want you to catch a cold," He smiled, in what she imagined was an adoring manner. No, no he wouldn't want her to catch a cold because then he couldn't kiss her and hold her and – "So, I'll just –"

"Itachi!"

"Ah, mother dearest – Sasuke!" He caught his younger brother as he walked past his room, probably eavesdropping, "Help Sakura back to your room, she hurt her ankle."

"Fine." Itachi paused, looking back at her foot – but not at _her_, unfortunately. "You should carry her."

"What?? No!" This was exclaimed simultaneously by both parties… followed by them glaring at each other.

"Itachi, it's fine, see? I can walk." Sakura stood up to prove herself capable of walking only to have her ankle give way beneath her and – oh surprise, surprise, she was on the ground _again_. "It'd be nice if someone could _occasionally_ catch me." She couldn't help but throw that in under her breath. Cracking a wry grin in response, Itachi helped her back onto the bed.

"See, Sasu-chan? Just go ahead and –"

"Itachi, if you're not down here in five minutes I am calling your _father_!!" He shook his head, obviously annoyed.

"Well, I'd better go before she has an aneurism. Feel better, Sakura." She meeped in response. "Sasuke. Help her." And not sparing either one of them a second glance, he called out a "Coming, mother!" And followed his words down the hall.

"He thinks I'm twelve." She groaned and flung herself backwards in a desperate attempt to kill herself byway of fluffiness.

"Che, whatever." Sasuke's voice had gotten significantly closer. Lifting her arm from her face to inspect the reason, she found him crouched in front of her, but facing the door. "Get on, idiot. We'll figure out another plan of action." Settling her arms around his shoulders and feeling him hoist her legs around his waist, she couldn't help but think back to when she would have absolutely died to be in such close contact with _the_ Uchiha Sasuke. A little part of her was still squealing … on the inside, of course. She should probably squish that piece of her down, down, down.

"Sasuke?"

"What?" She felt him respond, the vibrations of his voice echoing through his back and to her front.

"Who is that girl that Itachi's hugging in the picture on his nightstand?" He almost dropped her then, stopping suddenly and nearly letting go of her legs.

"What?" Then he continued onto his room, "That must be new, I don't know what picture you're talking about." He was obviously a _liar_.

"Are you lying? You don't have to lie to spare my feelings, you know."

"I'm not lying; I just don't know what picture you're talking about."

"Then why'd you stop so abruptly? Hm?" She had him now.

"Because I thought I saw a cockroach."

"AYEEEE WHAT?!"

"SAKURA STOP TRYING TO CLIMB UP HIGHER ON ME!"

"AGH!"

"… Plzgerruffme."

"What?" Sasuke lifted his face off the floor and groaned,

"I said, _please. Get. Off. Me._"

"Oh. Heh. My bad."

After making it back to his room where he had very unceremoniously chucked her at the bed, he sat down to once again consider their options. Once she had adequately disentangled herself from the sheets and the blankets, and taken a moment to send a fairly vicious glare his way, she joined him in his considerations.

"What if we played that old jeopardy board game you have and then I can show him how smart I am!"

"… No."

"Or, you could fall down the stairs and break your wrist and I could reset the bone – then he'd know that I'm going to be a great doctor some day."

"… One: I'm not falling down the stairs for you, two: you don't know how to reset a bone."

"I've read about it." She tried very hard not to sound petulant when responding… but she wasn't sure if she quite made it. Judging from Sasuke's _superior_ expression… she hadn't. "Fine, what's your great idea, genius?"

"Come have dinner with me." Her head spun and found his eyes,

"What?"

"I mean, us, come have dinner with us – my mom's making me bring someone anyway. There's supposed to be some announcement or something. So you can dress nicely and act lady like and tell him when you feel your most attractive."

"… Sasuke, have you been reading my magazines?"

"You don't have anything else in your bathroom." She looked at him, arching one quizzical brow before shaking her head to resume the important part of the conversation.

"I haven't got anything to wear."

"Yeah you do, you left your graduation dress here and my mom had it dry cleaned. I forgot to give it back to you. It's been hanging in my closet for weeks."

"Naruto would kill for this information."

"If you tell him, I'll light it on fire." She narrowed her eyes at him. Like hell he would.

"I'd kill you." Not bothering to acknowledge that statement with a response, Sasuke opened his closet and pulled out a plastic garment bag from somewhere in the back. He threw this same garment bag _at_ her, moments later.

"Here, go get ready already, we have to leave in an hour."

"This is lame, Sasuke. I'm not coming to your family dinner, all dolled up to impress your brother." She pushed her hair out of her eyes, "It just sounds so pathetic."

"Less pathetic than a quitter." She groaned.

"That was _way_ harsh."

"Do _not_ quote that insipid movie in my presence."

"But you know what I was quoting, so you must loooove it, Sasuke…. Or should I say 'Cher'?" This was good – distracting her from her inability to get Itachi to notice her.

"That's it – if you're not coming to dinner then just go home and fantasize about boys you'll never have because you're too scared to really make an effort. Idiot." Of course, when Sasuke responded like that, it was hard to play the avoidance game. He was looking at her very seriously, his chin resting on clasped hands. There was a curious prick at the corner of her eye, and on some level she'd stepped outside herself and could see, more than feel, the tear that escaped its ducts and slipped its way down her cheek. This was humiliating.

"Sakura – Fuck. Don't cry – I'm – I didn't – shit." And great, now he was coming towards her, intent on _pitying_ her and _babying_ or – She stood up quickly, halting her friend in his tracks.

"You're right. I'm doing this." She wrenched the dress out of its garment bag and rushed by him to the bathroom nearly toppling him over in the process.

"Wait, Sakura. Stop for a minute. This is all wrong. I have to tell –" She slammed the door ignoring his pleas and concentrating on one step at a time. "Sakura! You need to listen –" But she was too busy zipping up her dress and straightening out the fabric. Pulling the door back open, she shoved past Sasuke whose arm was raise, mid knock. He followed her. "You're not going to listen." She turned around.

"I listened to the part I wanted to hear. Now come on, I have to borrow stuff from your mom and you know your parent's room skeeves me out." She turned away from him again, knowing he'd go with her. His catching of her wrist, however, was a little surprising.

"Sakura, there is definitely something you need to hear about –" She wrenched it back away from him.

"About nothing, Sasuke! Just let me do this. I have to. Now please, let's just go so I can get make myself pretty for your older brother." He rolled his eyes, but still followed when she started walking.

"Fine, but I want you to know that I refuse to take any responsibility for anything that happens from here on out."

……..

"You know, Sakura, as much as I've enjoyed watching you look for shoes in my mother's closet… I have to get ready. So either hurry up, or I'm leaving you here alone."

"No! I'm coming, I'm coming! Don't leave me here… your dad scares the crap out of me." She grabbed one of the pairs she had been considering and tailed Sasuke back to his room. "I don't see what the big rush is, all you're going to do is change into slacks and a shirt. It'll take you like five minutes." She paused, "Unless of course… you need to muss your hair."

"Shut up."

"Do you want to borrow your mom's mouse? I mean, I could run back and –"

"I _will_ give you a noogie." She ran in front of him and smiled cutely,

"No you won't, because I look _soooooo_ pretty!"

"And so you do, Sakura." That definitely wasn't Sasuke's voice. A hand came and rested on her shoulder, pulling her into a turn and then she was face-to-chest with Itachi. "You look beautiful." Thankfully, she hadn't actually applied any rouge to her cheeks and so hopefully, the blush that was settling itself there was seemly enough. "I take it you're going to join us at dinner?"

"Uhm, uh-huh." Oh, fabulous, the verbal retardation had returned.

"She's coming with me since mother dearest is making me bring someone." Itachi's grin turned mischievous,

"And I'm sure that's the _only_ –"

"She was already here, it was convenient." Sasuke had crossed his arms and turned away from the scene, as if it was so ridiculous he didn't want to deign to grace it with his gaze.

"If you say so, Sasuke, if you say so." He sidestepped Sakura and walked by his little brother, pausing to ruffle Sasuke's hair. "Do you want to borrow some product? I have some hair stuff in my bathroom." Sakura had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Sasuke, of course, did not find it the least bit funny.

"I hate you. Go away."

"I'm just trying to help, Sasuke. I'm your older brother, I should teach you how to – "

"Muss his hair?" Sakura couldn't help but add that in. She smiled cheekily, relishing the amused glance that Itachi threw her way.

"Precisely. Now come on, Sasuke, we'll transform you in no time!" Itachi had taken Sasuke's arm and was dragging him towards his room. Sasuke, in return, had let out a strangled yelp,

"What?! No, no, no, I can get ready on my own! Leave me alone!" The panic had made itself very much at home in his speech. Sakura stared open mouthed as Itachi proceeded to pull Sasuke into his lair and slam the door shut behind him. The last she saw were the wide eyes of her friend, screaming in fear. Metaphorically, that is.

"I'll have him back to you in 20 minutes, Sakura!" The muffled voice of Itachi came from somewhere-beyond-the-door.

"… That was weird." She shrugged her shoulders, deciding to leave Sasuke to his fate. There was probably something on television she could watch. Maybe one of Sasuke's hidden cartoon dvds. Ooh, Foster's. Yes, she was going to watch Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Because Bloo was _hilarious_.

……..

"_I like cereal."_

"_I like potatoes."_

"_I. Like. ceeeeereal." _

"_Si. I like po-ta-toes." _

"_I like cereal." _

"_I like potatoes!!" _

"Where did you find this!" Sakura turned to find Sasuke standing in the doorway, irritation and shock written on his face.

"Buh-wha?" Words failed her as she took in the sight of her best buddy in the world. She'd known he was attractive, obviously. But – "Daaaaaaaaamn, Sasuke. Itachi really worked a number on you. You look _amazing_! Are those his clothes? No wonder they look so good – wow, I can't –"

"If you don't stop talking, I might maim you." She got up and walked closer to him, strangely, he flinched in response.

"Sasuke… are you … is that a smidgen of eyeliner?!"

"It wasn't my fault! He effing tied me down! Move, I need to go to the bathroom and wash my face." She didn't budge.

"Oh no you don't, you look great. We're taking pictures. Where's your mom?"

"I'm not telling – "

"Sasuke! It's time to go!" His eyes widened, "Where are you!" The voice was getting closer.

"No, no, no, no – " He lunged for the lock on the door but was beaten when it flew open and nearly knocked him in the face.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto flew into the room in a rush of satin, and black hair, and diamonds. She missed her son as he was now on the ground behind the door, hoping against hope that his mother would not notice him – which she didn't… for time being. "Ah, Sakura! You look _gorgeous_! I understand you're coming as Sasuke's _date_," She emphasized this by wiggling her finely arched eyebrows up and down a few times, "It's about time, I've been waiting for Sasuke to finally–"

"Go to a dinner _with my friend_, mother?" Sasuke had felt this might be an opportune moment to interrupt the one sided conversation Mikoto was having with a very flabbergasted Sakura.

"Ah, le petit prince de mon coeur! I didn't see you there." As usual, Sakura had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at Mikoto's ridiculous pet name for her youngest son. Sasuke clenched his jaw.

"I am _not_ the little prince of your heart. Please stop calling me that."

"You look fabulous, darling. Come, let me get a picture of you with Sakura. And then one of you and Itachi. And then one of all three of you!" She continued chattering as she pulled Sasuke, who pulled Sakura, out the door and down the stairs.

Later, after they'd nicely had their eyesight taken away by the evil lady with the little flashing black box, and while she was distracted by Itachi and Fugaku, it occurred to Sakura that Itachi didn't have a date.

"Hey, Sasuke?" She spoke softly as to not spark the evil lady's interest.

"What?"

"How come you had to bring a date and Itachi didn't."

"Because, this dinner is about –"

"For the love of all that is holy, Mikoto, no more pictures! Come on, Sasuke, Sakura, we're leaving! No, Itachi you can_not_ go double check your hair! LET'S GO!" Fugaku's voice had a terrifying quality to it, that made anyone in the vicinity sit up straighter, school their features, and agree to whatever it was that he said… and so, they were all in the car within thirty seconds.

As Fugaku was in _a mood_ as Mikoto had whispered to them, the ride to the restaurant was spent in silence.

……….

"And here we are, a table for six. May I ask when the last member of your party is arriving?"

"Probably within the next fifteen minutes. I'll make go make a phone call to double check." Itachi removed himself from the group and reached into his pocked to pull out his phone. He turned and walked towards the front of the restaurant as to not irritate the other patrons while Sakura watched, wide eyed and curious. She poked Sasuke.

"What?"

"Who's he calling?"

"How should I know."

"Because you _know._"

"Probably his date."

"Sasuke." Fugaku's command for his son's attention interrupted their exchange. "Pull Sakura's chair out for her, you weren't born in a barn."

"Yes, sir." She sat and lowered her lashes demurely at his looming figure,

"Thank you, le petit prince de mon couer." His fingers tightened around the back of her chair so hard that it shook.

"Do _not_ call me that." Waiting till he sat down next to her, she ignored is aggression and instead chose to ask a series of questions,

"So what is this dinner for, any way? And why did you need a date?"

"Because."

"Ah, Sakura, the dinner is because Fugaku's making a _big_ announcement." Mikoto chimed it, "And as far as the dates go, of course Uchihas cannot go against protocol, now can they?" The way her eyebrows had started wiggling again suggested that this was more Mikoto's idea than the family's. "Sasuke, please stop thumping you heard against the table, we're in polite society." The thumping stopped.

The waiter came by to take drink orders and Sakura took this opportunity to once again irritate Sasuke with one more question. The most important question of all.

"So who is Itachi bringing? You _have_ to tell me. I mean, this girl is going to be my competition. Is she prettier than me? Is it the blonde in those pictures?" Sasuke abruptly stood up and pulled Sakura with him.

"Sakura's not feeling well; I'm walking her to the restroom." Without giving his parents a chance to respond, he already had them halfway across the room.

"Our sons are very strange people sometimes, Mikoto. You know this is because of your side of the family, don't you?"

"Whatever you say, darling." Mikoto absent-mindedly responded, her head too full of images of pink haired grandchildren to properly pay attention to her husband.

……

"Sasuke! What are you doing? I feel fine!" He pulled her into the lobby and whirled around to face her,

"What I'm doing is saving you a _load_ of embarrassment. This is a _bad_ idea, the only reason I agreed to it is because you were being annoying and I thought it'd be funny, but now for some reason I have this stupid feeling in my stomach like if you cry that it's my fault so I'm going to fix this right now. Itachi is – "

"Sasuke, Sakura, I want you to meet my date. This is good, I'd rather this introduction happen before our parents'." Itachi's voice came from behind her and Sasuke's face visibly fell. She had never seen so much regret in his face as she did right then. Of course, this just confused her more than anything else.

She ignored it for the moment because now was the time she'd finally lay eyes on what Itachi wanted. Her competition. What she would strive to be! As she faced away from Sasuke, her eyes found Itachi first and there, behind him. Tall, blonde, gorgeous blue eyes, slender neck, strangely broad shoulders, and wow, the flattest chest ever… and, oh Jesus Mary and Joseph.

"So, this is Sasuke, and this is his friend – though I dare say he wants it to be more than that – Sakura," He turned back to them, "And this is my boyfriend, Deidara."

"Oh my God." Sasuke's hand moved of its own accord,

"OH MY GOD." Sakura didn't notice.

"Sakura…" Sasuke was gripping her shoulder,

"OH MY GOD!"

"Sakura!" He was trying to get her to turn around,

"YOU'RE – mmmphhhhmm!!" Sakura had slapped a palm over her mouth and was dragging her backwards,

"Itachi, I'm going to take care of this, do _not_ take him to the table till we get back!" He paused in his ministrations, "and I'm going to kill you for that introduction, bastard."

Outside of the restaurant, Sasuke reluctantly let go of the heaving Sakura,

"Um," For once in his life, he was at a loss for words, "Are you – " Of course, getting punched in the face was another first that outweighed the former one, "OW, COME ON."

"You are a complete and utter _ass_, Sasuke, and I, oooh, I bet you thought that was _hilarious_!" She had her fists balled at her side and her hair hanging in her face, "I can_not_ believe you!"

"I tried to tell you!" He tried very hard to glare at her from his spot on the ground,

"After convincing me that I was a lesser person for not going for it!!" She ignored his pathetic glare,

"I didn't realize you'd take me so seriously!" He struggled to get up and yell at her at the same time,

"Well, maybe your opinion _matters_ to me, genius!" Of course, since she felt bad for hitting him, she offered him a hand,

"Well, maybe your opinion matters to me too and _maybe_ I wasn't as okay with you … appreciating Itachi as I pretended to be." He didn't let go,

"Wait – what?"

"You're an idiot, but for some reason in my incredibly retarded brain I … like it."

"Like what?" She was surprised to feel her heart lift a little,

"Like _you_, moron. Even if you do 'love' my brother, I can't help it and it won't go away, so…"

"Sasuke," she paused, considering her words, "You have to know he was always the consolation prize." He shot her a small smile, "But I'm still mad at you!" Which quickly turned into a not-so-small frown, "How could you not tell me that Itachi's _gay_!"

"Sorry! I was going to tell you when you first mentioned it, but then you got all self righteous and it was _incredibly_ irritating hearing you talk about my gay older brother like that. So…"

"You were trying to _teach me a lesson_?" She tried to crunch his finger bones which were still entwined with hers, "I might kill you." He didn't flinch and instead welcomed the tight hold, using it to pull her back inside the restaurant and towards the table.

"You can kill me later, especially now that I know you like me better than Itachi – "

"I regret having this conversation with you," But the fact that she didn't pull her hand away bellied that statement and Sasuke knew he was safe with this one.

"Come on, my parents don't know. We don't want to miss this." Itachi had not listened to Sasuke and so when they returned to the table, they found a very confused Fugaku and incredibly excited Mikoto. Fugaku was speaking as they came up to the table to take their seats,

"So you two are – "

"Yes, father." Itachi sounded irritated.

"And will there be a commitment ceremony any time soon??"

"Mother!!" Now he sounded mortified. Sasuke shot him a malicious grin. This was a mistake on his part. "Ah Sasuke, you came back, and did mine eyes deceive me or were you and Sakura holding hands?" That wiped the grin off his brother's face right-quick.

"AYE!! A double ceremony!"

"I just wanted to bring my family together to tell them that I bought a summer house in the Hamptons, and instead, I find out my oldest son has a _boyfriend_ and my younger son is –"

"Is _what_, dear?" Mikoto's icy tone had interrupted her husband's musings, and he back pedaled quickly,

"Is, is dating a delightful young lady who I'm sure will do us all proud as a future Uchiha matriarch."

"… I have to go." Sakura began to pull at her hand, Sasuke refused to let go.

"If I have to sit through this, so do you."

"Itachi-chan, are all your family dinners like this?" Itachi grinned,

"Sadly, no, Dei-dei. Sadly, no."

"So, Sakura, Sasuke, when was this decided, hmmm?"

"Oh look, Itachi and Deidara are being cute, mom. Look at them. Look." Sasuke's emotionless voice had worked its magic and Mikoto's eyes spun to her eldest.

"You two are adorable! Where did I leave my camera!" Itachi groaned,

"You do realize, Sasuke, you've just started this." Sasuke's eyes widened – he wouldn't… "Sakura, did I ever tell you about Sasuke's _dream journal_?"

"OHMYGODIFYOUDON'TSHUTUP – I WILL DIE!"

"… Um, Sasuke?"

………

"That was the most ridiculous dinner party I have _ever_ been to." Sakura grinned, "It almost makes up for the fact that Itachi will never, ever see me _that_ way – "

"Sakura!" The two of them were in his driveway, putting her stuff into her car.

"Kidding! – Kind of, any way." She sighed, fitting the key into the lock and feeling the shift as it came open, "No, it's alright. He is what he is, and I only ever liked him because on some plane I convinced myself that if I couldn't have you – " Of course, it was difficult to finish explanations when the person you were talking to just up and interrupted you by kissing you. Sasuke pulled away,

"I don't really care, idiot." She put a finger to her lips and smiled,

"Oh well, all the better, Itachi's too pretty to be straight any how. You're much less _pretty_ – "

"More handsome, you mean?"

"No, I mean less pretty."

………

"Your brother's girlfriend is too cute, Itachi-chan!" Deidara was peering out the window and Itachi couldn't help but grin,

"I know, and to think, Sasuke's been trying for two years to work up the nerve to get her, and I got it done in _one_ day. I am a bloody genius." He laid back on the bed with a self satisfied smile, throwing the notebook he'd been skimming to the side, "Dei – as much as I love those pants, I think they'd look better on my floor…"

* * *

A/N: AND IT'S FINISHED. OMG longest one shot ever. I freaking love Itachi in this piece and I want him to be my gay BFF. He's just as scheming as in the manga though – heart, forever.

So yeah. Tell me what you thought you guyyyyzzzz. Who called it? Who didn't?

Let me know!

Okay – now I'm off to go see my girl crush. M.I.A.!!

Peace out homez.

(Review! XD)


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